Body Paragraphs
複習：
- Prompt → Question
- brainstorm → 3C3CE
- intro → 2句
- Hook (Question, Statistics)
- Thesis statement → view(Y/N, A/B) → reasons(面向)→factors
- conclusion
- In short, …改寫intro的thesis statement 這個最難
- Prediction(+(positive)/-(warning)) 以上，如果要考雅思，以上盡量4~5分鐘解決
- recommend
- Body Paragraph x2 第一句：Topic Sentence (mini thesis sentence) → Controlling Idea（Thesis Statement中的第一個理由） → topic → benefit harmful(detrimental) 第二句之後：elaborate: → idea → why, how so what
Body Structures
每個idea都是一個一個接下去
IELTS Writing Brainstorming
Prompt: City governments sometimes must choose between using a piece of available land as a green space or using it for other important purposes, such as for shopping areas or for manufacturing plants. In your opinion, which is the better use for available urban space? Why?
此為老師回饋
City gov → green space
Environment → Plant trees so cleaner air , (money, how) cleaner air brings better health (money, so what) improves productivity, more income, increases GDP
tree clean air, absorb CO2, pollution, improve air quality
convenience → 對人很方便，(why)因為綠地想去就去→不用花時間去鄉下郊外
HOW? save time; walking vs driving time
Connection → 大家有交流的機會 →(how) 遛狗 帶來交流的機會 → 人們更多連結
HOW? SO WHAT? @ park, walk dog, meet people, common interest, make friends, enjoyable experience
Edu: 綠地→動物→讓小孩親自看到更多的動物
HOW? animals in forest (squirel, birds, insects, etc);
HOW? observe real animals movements… SO WHAT? geniune experience, more memorable
Emotion: 更多連結與動物（大自然）→人們放鬆
HOW? relax, cute animals, (?)（療癒動物）
每一個面向都可以做出body paragraph 選其中一個面向去講就可以
Example 1:
Using for other important purposes, such as shopping areas
在繁華的城市中，建造百貨公司不僅能夠創造更多的就業機會（城市消費高，大家需要賺錢），也可以提供人們的休閒娛樂（大家會消費），因而提高國家整體經濟。
- Topic Sentence:
Building a shopping center can benefit the economy.
Example 2:
topic green space
1.benefit for citizen/保護環境
2.對環境友好（減緩熱島效應） 提供人們健身鍛鍊的平台 節約成本（可持續發展） 提升生活幸福感
3.對居民身體健康好
4.extra➡️居民可以接觸自然
- Topic Sentence
Green space can be advantageous for the local citizens.
Week 8: 改寫Student 8
Providing free housing for everyone who can’t afford it by government is detrimental for social management.It imposes heavy burden on governments’ finances.As we all know that governments’ finances take from people’s taxes.Imagine that governments using this money for providing free housing, the funding that invests in other fields decreases.As a consequence,居民的基本服務設施 如醫保、社保無法得到保障，which is connected closely with people’s daily life. Thus, there is no doubt that providing free housing does harm to social stability.
改寫結果： Providing free housing for everyone who can’t afford it by government is detrimental for social management. It imposes heavy burden on governments’ finances. As we all know that governments’ finances take from people’s taxes. Governments use tax payers’ limited money for building useful infrastructures. Imagine that governments using this money for providing free housing. Building a quality house is often costly, which decreases the funding that invests in other fields like national health insurance and social insurance which is connected closely with people’s daily life. [1] By scarifying those may cause citizens much more vulnerable to diseases, result in worse quality of life. Thus, there is no doubt that providing free housing does harm to social stability.
老師改寫
[1]:Moreover, sacrificing [these benefits / the aforementioned benefits)] may cause citizens to become more susceptible to diseases, resulting in lower quality of life.
(vulnerable vs susceptible)
Assignment: Body 2 Writing
Some people think more public money should be spent on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Building convenient public transport systems boost the overall economy of the nation. Subways are the safest and fastest options to travel around the city. By providing reliable subway systems, citizens have more time to focus on work. Workers don’t have to worry about hitting pedestrians or stuck at highways for several hours which increases the overall production rate of the nation, making the nation more competent. Therefore it is essential to build quality public transport systems.